Dear ''Dad'',
I remember my lullaby, late at night. It wasn't the sound of a music box, playing a tune just for me with a little ballerina twirling relentlessly. It was the sound of drunken laughter, doors slamming and the sound of shuffling feet. The dark always meant the bad things would come, nobody knows it, but that's why I'm afraid of it. I'm not afraid of the dark as most children are, because the ominous boogeyman would come - but because you would come, in a drunken stupor and bring my world to a screeching mass of pain and emotional torture. My lullaby was the angry bite of your words, sharp and stinging merciless as any whip could ever feel. You hit them, only them at first. But why didn't you start with me? Didn't you know you were already killing me? Destroying me from the inside out? I remember staying up late, wishing against all odds that you'd come home with a smile and an apology, as you sometimes did. Maybe even a gift to say I'm sorry, some material object to speak the words you could never bring yourself to say.
Years passed by and they got away, away from the shadows that once clouded their mind - away from bruises and cold words. But I was left behind in the dust. Lingering, enduring the physical pain without a flinch, and taking the psychological blows as they rained down like snow in a blizzard. I knew, even then, that I was slipping under the surface. Into the darkness, but I was sure I'd overcome it. I used to pray, to a god I always knew never cared, that he'd make me perfect. That he'd make me a good little girl so you'd be proud of me, that you'd stay home longer than you normally would. That you'd smile at me and tell me you loved me. That maybe, just maybe, things could go back to happier times and I could have you back again. Instead of the monster you've became. But the wish never came true, I hoped and I hoped, but the stars kept dimming until they were entirely blocked by the clouds of misery and despair. Now, so many years have passed and the sickness remains - in my mind and yours. You wear yours on your sleeve, drunken and drugged - while I hide mine with a smile and a broken laugh that no one can see through. The problems became worse, more difficult, more complex.
I don't feel the way most do - no smiles ever come without the shadow of misery that's quick to follow. Every word is a burn, every minuscule flaw just another reminder that I was a mistake, the one you wish you could erase. Don't worry, you're not alone. I wish I could, too. I hate who and what I am.
But do you know how you say I love you? You say it like it's a lie not even you can believe.
This is just another letter, one of many you'll never read.
-- Anonymous. --
''Scars are souvenirs we never lose.''
From: broken-hearted lullaby
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Dear: A Friend
You know that I still love you.
That's why you need to know that I think you are making the wrong decision by choosing to stay with her.
You haven't been dating very long, and you've even admitted to me that you aren't in love with her. Even though she's pregnant, it would be a huge mistake to stay with her. Do you really want your child to have parents that don't love each other?
You know that I still love you.
You don't have to come back to me, but please do not stay with her if you aren't happy and don't love her. It won't work.
You're too young for all of this.
I love you.
From:
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Dear: Kayla, Josh, & Topz
-All three:
I don't need you guys. I wouldn't say that if it wasn't true- I've been through enough to believe for myself that I can get through a couple people ignoring me.
-I've endured emotional abuse by other friends
-I've fallen in love and gotten
From: The annoying one you don’t care about
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Dear: Father
I say ''father'' loosely.. You and my mom had sex.. and there I was. But since I was about 16 you've not been a father, or even a dad...or even a friend to me. You've done nothing but create drama..time after time. Every couple of months I think that maybe enough time has gone by..and maybe we could try and talk again. But no..then you (once again) pull some kind of stupid shit. You have to win dontcha? You can't let anything go. You can't just BE. You have a good life..but you insist on getting involved in every little nook of everyone else's.
I cannot wait for peace. I look forward to it. I know it will come someday. You are one of 2 of my skeletons....
You ask why I don’t include you in my life..
This is why you fucking bastard.
From: your daughter
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Dear: DXS
Sometimes I wonder if you know just how much I value you. You cheer me up when I'm down, and you're always there for me. You deserve the very best, my love, I hope you know that. Even now you're making me giggle and smile when I thought that I would do neither all day today. When I found out I had lupus, you didn't even hesitate to be right by my side. You've listened to my whining and trusted me despite things that I wouldn't have expected you to tolerate.
You're too amazing.
No words can express how thankful I am for you each and every day. You mean too much to me for the English language to capture. Even in the short time I've known you, you've been a better friend to me than most people.
I don't have anything left to say except: Thank you so very much. I hope things work out with your boy.
Hugs and kisses.
From : 1/2 Of Your Favorite Gay Couple
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Dear: J
I really miss you sometimes.. Usually at the most inconvenient moments. When I hear a certain song.. or see Harleys.. or lime green.. I miss you so much. You meant so much more to me than anyone ever had. you probably don’t believe that..but it's true. the way you touched me.. and truly I believed I had finally found that person..that I could just 'be' with. but once again.. it was too good to be true. just know that .. you ..jason..you are loved.. you'll always have a special place in my heart.
From:
R
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Dear: Nick Peterson
For her sake... please don’t walk out on her like you did me. No one deserves to be put thru what you put me thru. I don’t know her, nor will I..but I know what vie had to do to pick myself up and attempt to move on. granted I have moved on..but since hearing about your recent engagement.. I’m happy for you..and I just hope that you can go thru with this one.
From: Rachel